Don't You Cry Tonight
by Samwena
Summary: Sam Winchester has trouble coping with Rowena's sacrificial death that took place in 15x03. This episode was phenomenal and I adore Samwena. Based on responses, I may continue with future chapters.


p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"em"We have grown quite fond of each other, haven't we?"/em/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"em"Would you let the world die, your brother die, just so I could live?"/em/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"em"That's my boy." /emHe felt her enticing hand grip his chin, demanding that he let her look at him one last time this close. And that's when her green eyes met his hazel, both pairs watery and full of cryptic understanding that only they knew. The light surrounding her beauty and bravery caressed her face angelically for a moment, and all he wanted to do was kiss her, embrace her – this was his last chance./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"But then the lighting changed. A rich red hue overtook the cobwebbed crypt in its entirety. He was plunging the shiny, silver knife into her stomach. Over and over again the scene played out – her warm blood soaking her pale pink dress, her eyes full of sadness and melancholy, her gentle touch reassuring him…/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"Reassuring him of what? That what he was doing was the right decision? That his love for her was mutual? That he made her care for something, a feeling she had not known for almost four-hundred years? All the above?/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"Now it was too late. Any second now she would be stumbling away in pain to her heroic death./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"WHOOSH./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"He was in the bunker. The deep ruby hue was still engulfing his vision. He not longer felt like kind, sweet Sam – he felt like a Sam with no other option, a nauseous gut-wrenching feeling invading his abdomen as looked down at Dean, his brother, badly bruised and bloodied./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;""Sammy… please," he pleaded. Before Sam knew what he was doing, he flung Dean across the room in disgust. Not disgusted with Dean, but by himself. He felt a surging power building inside him, something dark and energetically mysterious – Chuck, or God, his stupid face kept flashing across his mind, the man behind emall of this/em – emthe reason Rowena was dead./em/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"He suddenly felt as strong as he did when he drank demon blood all those years ago, wrath coursing through his bones…/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"And then he woke up. Pure white artificial light pooled across the room the second he twisted his bedside lamp's switch./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;""emThat's my boy/em," her voice echoed./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"Could it all have been a nightmare? Was Rowena really –/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"There it was. Her purse from the crypt along with the Book of the Damned, both neatly residing on his dresser./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"Sam groaned in agony and looked at the time on his alarm clock – it was four in the morning. There was no way Dean would be awake yet./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"When he made his bed before leaving, he noticed how saturated his pillow felt. He avoided glancing in the mirror, knowing he looked like a mess and wouldn't like what looked back at him./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"The clinking of a glass against wood reached Sam's tired ears as he ventured down the dimly lit hallway. He peeked into the library area, where Dean was sitting with a sour expression and half a dozen empty bottles./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"Sam had half a mind to go back to bed, because he emreally /emdidn't feel like dealing with Dean's bullshit. He was already annoyed with him from earlier, when he tried taking the credit for what Rowena had done. emNobody sacrificed as much as she did – except… no. What a selfish thought./em/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;""What are you doing up?" Dean said briskly, swishing around his crystal glass. Sam met his eyes knowingly and didn't comment./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;""What about you?" Sam asked. "Where's Cas?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;""Gone."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;""Gone?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;""Gone," Dean repeated. He coolly slugged his glass, draining it of its amber contents./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;""What do you mean he's gone? Where did he go?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;""Don't know. Don't care."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;""You don't…? Dean, what's gotten into you? Of course you care about Cas, he's –"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;""Dead to me."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;""Oh, come on."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;""He killed Mom, Sam!" Dean barked, standing up from the table with dangerous force. "And if you think that's something I'm going to just forget about –"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;""Forget?" Sam said quietly. "Dean, after everything we've been through, all that we've seen… There is no forgetting. Not any of it." He swallowed hard as fresh tears filled his eyes. The trouble was, Sam wasn't even sure he was talking about just his mom anymore. "Everyone that we love just keeps on dying. But that doesn't mean we should forget about those who aren't."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"Dean set the empty glass down forcefully and stared at his brother with a resolved anger etched into his face. Then he retreated from the room without a single glance backward./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"How could Sam ever confide in Dean about his visions? At first, he wasn't sure what they even were, but now… Now Rowena was dead. He was sure they would only get worse now that she was gone. And there was no telling what he would do next./p 


End file.
